


All For You

by GayGothicFanboy



Category: Archer (Cartoon)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Attempted Rape/Non-Con, Bisexual Lana, Closeted Lesbian Katya, Depression, Dorks in Love, Drunk Sex, Drunken Kissing, F/F, F/M, Gentle Kissing, Hangover, Heartbreak, I hate Barry so much, Implied/Referenced Sex, KGB, Katya is a top, Lana gets mean when she's drunk, Lana is a bottom, Lesbian Sex, Loss of Virginity, Overprotective Katya, Slow Burn, Transwoman Katya, Unplanned Pregnancy, season 5
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-30
Updated: 2020-03-30
Packaged: 2021-02-28 19:20:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 5
Words: 4,935
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23402122
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GayGothicFanboy/pseuds/GayGothicFanboy
Summary: Lana finds out that ISIS is been running illegal missions and her whole world shatters. The group is out of a job. But a familiar Russian girl offers jobs to all of them. Lana finds out something unexpected; so she must choose between distant Archer or the sweet Katya.
Relationships: Implied Pam Poovey/Cheryl Tunt, Lana Kane/Katya Kazanova, past Sterling Archer/Lana Kane
Kudos: 12





	1. ISIS Is Illegal?

Archer had danced around the ISIS building. He handed flowers out to everyone. 

He then entered his mother’s, Malory, office.

Malory smiled and went to grab a flower from the bouquet.

And...BOOM!

The dust began to settle in a few short moments. “Mom. Mom.” Archer slowly rose.

“Sterling?” Malory called.

“Mom?” Archer asked.

“Do something!” Malory demanded.

“What? I brought roses,” Archer told her. “Jesus, Mother, it’s just your birthday. Not that this is about that...”

“Archer!” yelled Lana from outside the room. Followed by gun fire.

“Lana!” Archer ran toward her. He ducked as bullets whizzed past him. Archer sat by Ray and Cheryl.

“No move! Get away from us!” Ray hissed to Archer.

“Yeah! They’re shooting at you!” Cheryl threw in.

“Who?” Archer raised an eyebrow.

“The storm-ninjas!” Cheryl informed him, followed by a happy clap.

“That’s not a thing.” Archer began. He rose and then ducked back down as a bullet whirred by his head. “Oh I stand corrected.”

“Sons of bitches...” Lana muttered as she fired rounds at them. She then cursed as she was almost hit. “I’m...uh never-mind.”

Cyril groaned. “And that’s what she says every day!”

“Okay, first of all, cover your eyes and ears!” Lana commanded.

“You’re not the boss of me!” Cyril pouted.

Lana threw a grenade. 

“Meep. Meep.” Cyril stuttered.

Archer began to ask a question between firing rounds of ammunition. “What was that, Beaker. Oh, my god, is Beaker not the best?”

“Meep. Meep. Mew,” Cyril continued, in distress.

Archer continued on.“And wait, what’s his, uh…, the name of….Brett!” 

“No, no, no! Leave alone!” yelled Brett.

“Shut up!” Archer told Brett. “Who’s Beaker’s boss?”

“What?” asked Brett.

“Beaker’s boss,” Archer restated.

A bullet flew through the air and impaled Brett.

“I can’t hear, Brett!”

No response.

“Well, he died doing what he loved—being shot!” Archer smirked.

“Nobody move! FBI!” one of the ‘Storm-Ninjas’ yelled.

“Shit!” Ray yelled.

“Second worst birthday ever,” Malory commented.

Archer stood up. “How is this better than your fake 50 th ?”

Malory didn’t answer her son.

“Oh, come on, guys, we talked about this! You’re supposed to yell ‘FBI’ at the beginning. After the flash bangs but before other Fat Mike gets shot! And what happened with getting ‘FBI’ on the fronts of the uniforms? Huh?” The FBI head guy said.

Archer started laughing.

“Sterling Archer?” the guy, Holly, asked.

Archer said, “Yeah?”

“You’re extremely under arrest.” Holly told him.

“For what?” Archer asked him.

“Besides the attempted murder of a federal agent, there’s treason,” Holly informed Archer.

“Archer, what the hell did you do?” Lana asked him.

Holly turned to Lana. “Oh not just him. You too, Miss Kane.”

“What?” Lana seemed confused.

“Yeah. Everybody. Especially you Ms Archer.”

Lana raised an eyebrow. “Is this about the fake hydrogen bomb?”

“Lana!” Malory gasped.

Holly made a weird face. “No, but let’s put a pin in that. This is about conducting espionage operations for years with no authority or permission whatsoever from the United States government!”

Archer blinked a couple of times in pure disbelief. “Wait, what? Mother! Like, 50 times I asked you about that!”

Malory responded back with, “And like, 50 times, I lied. Sue me.”

“Mr Archer, put your hands behind your back.” Holly commanded.

“Or what?” Archer began to tease. “What are you gonna do? Taser me?”

And that’s what Holly did.

Cheryl smiled at clapped. “Taser me.”

Holly said, “No.”

Cheryl said, “You asked for this.” She jumped onto him and got tasered.

“When we get to the station, say nothing to their questions,” Malory informed them.

“Why?” Pam asked.

“Because there’s a chance I can make this all go away,” Malory answered.

Archer laughed. “What? Are you going to sleep with Holly?”

Malory slapped her son upside the head. “Ass.”

-

As told, no one spoke. Except for one idiot….

“So, what crimes were committed at ISIS?” asked the officer.

“Nothing or something like that,” Cheryl said.

The officer was confused. “Excuse me, what?”

Cheryl sighed. “Fine! I’ll tell you!”

The officer pulled out a note pad. “Okay. Tell me.”

“Ms Archer had an affair with the former head of the KGB, Nikolai Jakov, for, like 30 years. That was until he got blown up. Which, that was my fault. Because I was busy having crazily insane choke sex with a murderous cyborg, who then became the new head of the KGB. Well that was until Krieger built a sexier one out of illegal KGB parts and corpse of a Russian girl who was like 19 or something….” Cheryl kept going on and on.

The officer looked completely disgusted. Once Cheryl was done, the officer said, “I’ll put down murder, arson, destroying oil pipe lines, endangerment of innocent lives, possession of weapons of mass destruction, high-seas piracy, and defiling a corpse.” He looked at Cheryl. “And for the government’s sake, I have to ask, where is that corpse you defiled?”

“Well technically, it was Krieger who defiled her but I want to say like Odessa or something,” Cheryl said.

“Odessa, Ukraine?” the man asked.

“I don’t know. Probably,” Cheryl said.

Lana and Archer burst into the room and corralled Cheryl out. They lead her outside.

“Hey! What was that for?” Cheryl asked.

“We’re heading back to the ISIS building to get our stuff,” Lana said.

Cheryl raised an eyebrow, confused. “But I thought that we were going to prison.”

“Malory bailed us out,” Lana said. “Now let’s go.”

-

Everyone was ISIS headquarters. 

They all talked about jobs they would have to go back to.

Archer said something about being a professional lacrosse player.

Pam talked about going back to the illegal underground fights.

Cyril brang up becoming an accountant.

Suddenly the screen flashed a face on it.

“Privet, comrades!” a man, who was probably Russian greeted.

Everyone jumped.

“Jeez! How about you warn us next time you’re going to flash a pervert on the screen!” Pam yelled.

Malory said, “I didn’t do this!”

A familiar voice called, “Boris! Move!”

Boris hung his head. “Sorry Miss Kazanova.” He moved out of the way.

On screen flashed the face of a familiar blond. “Privet.”

“Katya!” Both Archer and Krieger yelled in unison.

Katya greeted Archer. “Sterling.”   
Archer began. “How are you? It’s been so long.”

“It’s only been a year,” Katya said. “But now isn’t the time to play catch-up. I heard ISIS is begin closed down.”

Malory glared at Katya. “Well Little Miss Russian Whore,”

Katya became visibly upset.

“...we don’t need to to patronize us.” Malory hung up on her. 

The screen read, ‘Call ended’.

“Mother!” Archer yelled.

“What?” Malory asked.

“What if she had something that could have helped us?”

Malory said, “I didn’t think of that.” 

“Of course you didn’t,” Lana sighed.

Archer called Katya back.

Katya’s face flashed back on the screen.

Archer said, “Continue what you were going to say.”

Katya shook her head. “I don’t think I should help you guys now.”

Archer plead. “Please do! Don’t worry about my mother!”

Katya sighed. “Fine. Since ISIS is closed down, I figure you guys don’t have jobs. So, there’s open in the KGB. I thought Boris and I could pay for you guys to fly out here and give you places to stay. After all, it’s the kind thing to do.”

Malory muttered, “What would someone like you know about kindness?”

Katya rolled her eyes.

Lana said, “Are you serious?”

Katya nodded. “Da.”

“Am I the only who doesn’t see the problem with this?” Cyril began. “Honestly, none of us are in the state to be part of the KGB.”

Archer laughed. “Well I guess we know who we’ll be leaving behind.”

Cyril adjusted his glasses. “It’s just that no sane person who want to live in Russia—even for a short people of time.” He looked up to meet the blood-chilling gaze of the current head of the KGB. “No offense Miss Kazanova.”

Once again Katya rolled her eyes.

“But my point is still valid. Right guys?” Cyril asked.

Ray shook his head. “Speak for yourself! I’d love a free vacation! Even though it’s in the most notorious LGBT hating country in the world.”

“Mr Gilette, if you’re worried about that, you don’t have to be. I have control over all of the knuckle-heads in the KGB. And well I’m kind of…,” Katya leaned in close. “A trans-woman.”

Ray’s face lit up with happiness. “Thank you! And sweetie, you can call me Ray.”

Katya smiled. “You don’t have to worry about anything, Ray.”

Everyone talked about how they would go to Russia.

Cyril sighed. “Okay fine. I’ll go.”

Archer smiled. “Okay. It’s final. Team Archer is moving to Russia.”

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	2. The Floor Is Lava

Airport customs were something Lana despised dearly. In her mind, she mentally wrote a letter, ‘dear airport customs, go fuck yourself. Sincerely, Lana Kane’.

Another thing she hated was the fact that Pam snored so loud.

Archer looked at Lana. “Don’t you find it weird that Pam is sleeping in daylight?”

Cheryl popped up and said, “She always does that.”

Lana looked at her. “And how would you know that?”

Cheryl slowly sat back down.

All Lana could think was, this flight is going to suck.

-

They were still on the plane when night fell.

Lana looked at Archer. “Aren’t you going to get sleep?”

Archer shook his head. “Nope.”

Lana raised an eyebrow. “And why is that?”

Archer simply said, “No sleep ‘till Moscow.”

Pam, Cheryl, and Krieger popped up.

Archer, Pam, Cheryl, and Krieger all sang off key, “No sleep ‘till Moscow!”

Lana rolled her eyes and tried to get some decent sleep.

-

Once morning broke, the plane had landed. They had gotten off and Lana puked.

She said it was because she didn’t like airplanes—in which, that wasn’t completely a lie.

They arrived in the KGB building by evening.

Katya greeted them with a smile. “Privet, comrades.”

Pam commented, “Damn, I forgot that she’s even hotter in person.”

Katya giggled. 

Krieger instantly took the Russian girl into an embrace.

Malory said, “Not to break up this happy time...”

Archer muttered, “you had all the attention to.”

Malory slightly scowled at her son. “...but I was wondering where we’re staying.”

Boris ran up. “Gilette, Mr Archer, Figgis, and Krieger will stay with me.”

Katya said, “And I’ll take Poovey, Tunt, Ms Archer, and Kane.”

Pam got excited. “Fuck yeah!”

Everyone looked at her weird.

“What? I am not supposed to be excited?” Pam asked.

Katya told her, “You should save your excitement for later.”

Cheryl giggled, “that’s what she said.”

Katya ignored that, “Everyone will be dropping off their luggage then we’ll meet at my place.”

-

Pam, Malory, Cheryl, and Lana had dropped off their stuff.

There was three rooms in Katya’s flat.

Pam and Cheryl would share one.

Lana and Malory would share one.

Katya got the other to herself—after all, this was her house.

Suddenly, the doorbell rang.

Katya opened the door and Archer, Ray, Cyril, and Krieger stepped in.

Boris said, “I’ll be waiting in the car.”

Katya shut the door.

Cheryl whispered to Pam, “Do you think that Katya is a vampire?”

Pam looked confused. “Uh sure. She’s a vampire.”

Cheryl looked overly excited about that fake news.

Katya turned everyone. “I know everyone is stressed about this new change.” She didn’t name drop anyone but she had a quick glare to Malory and Cyril. “So, I thought I would be better for everyone if we did an American game…” then Katya shouted, “...the Floor is Lava!” She jumped onto the couch.

Everyone looked panicked; hell, even Malory. They all jumped onto something.

They took turns jumping around the house.

Archer smiled and laughed, “Sacrifice!” He pushed Cyril into the “lava”.

Cyril looked panicked at went to grab something; he grabbed onto Malory. He drug her down with himself.

“Damn it!” Malory said.

Katya giggled, “Ms Archer! Figgis! You’re out.”

Malory and Cyril stumbled to the side lines, upset.

They kept playing until, Katya, Archer, Cheryl, and Lana were the only ones left.

“Sacrifice!” Archer yelled again. He tried to push Lana off the couch.

But he missed. “Damn.”

Katya said, “Sacrifice.” She spartan-style kicked Archer off.

Archer hit the wall with a loud thud. “Ow...my spleen.”

Cheryl was on the ceiling for some odd fucking reason. “You said the floor was lava—not the ceiling.”

Katya said, “She does have a point.”

Cheryl went to move on the ceiling but fell off onto the ground. “Damn.”

Now all was left was Lana and Katya.

Katya looked at Lana. The Russian said, “Go ahead.”

“Really?” Lana asked.

Katya nodded. “Da. Go on.”

“Here goes nothing.” Lana took at deep breath and pushed Katya off the couch.

Katya fell onto the ground. She smiled at Lana. “Miss Kane is the winner,” the Russian announced. 

“You can just call me Lana,” she told Katya.

“Okay, you won Lana.” Katya stood up and went to address the rest of the group. “Who wants some dough with sauce on it?”


	3. The Night Of Many Break-downs

“I’m starving,” Archer said. “Hey Lana.”

Nothing.

“Lana.”

Nothing. 

“Lana!”

“What?” Lana was agitated.

“How about you go see if Katya is done with the pizza,” Archer suggested.

Lana sighed. “Fine—I have nothing else to do.” Lana approached the kitchen. She stepped in. 

Katya was in distress. She was on the verge of a mental break-down.

“Are you okay?” Lana asked her.

“No! I ruined it,” Katya said.

“Why is that?” Lana asked.

“I promise them all of these extravagant things—but I can’t do them,” Katya answered Lana, her voice wavering.

“And why can’t you do them.”

“I have social anxiety,” Katya sobbed. “Also, I don’t know how to make food. I’ve never been taught how to cook. Besides, I haven’t eaten human food for a year!”

Cheryl slithered by. “Because you’re a vampire….” She slithered onto the wall and then the ceiling and toward the place were everyone else was.

“What the-” Katya began.

Lana sighed. “She’s probably having an overdose on rubber cement.”

“Why the fuck would she eat that?” Katya asked.

Lana shrugged. “I have no idea. But if you don’t know how to cook, then I’ll teach you.”

Katya stopped crying. “Really?”

Lana nodded. “Really.”

Katya walked toward the chopping board where whole tomatoes lay.

“Archer likes tomatoes on his pizza,” Lana said.

“Why though?”

“I have no idea,” Lana said.

Katya picked up the knife.

Lana stood behind Katya and reached her arms forward. She helped hold Katya’s arm steady. 

Finally, they made a slice of tomato.

“That wasn’t so hard,” Lana said.

Katya smiled, “No. It wasn’t.”

-

Katya and Lana carried out the pizza a few hours later. 

Archer smiled. “Finally! You guys were in there so long I thought that you had sex!”

Katya and Lana’s faces turned slightly pink. “What…?” they asked in unison.

Archer laughed. “I’m just joking. I know you guys are both straight females.”

“Yeah…straight,” Katya muttered.

Pam said, “Who cares? Let’s eat!”

-

After the dinner, Archer, Ray, Cyril, and Krieger left along with Boris.

It was quite late.

Pam and Cheryl ran to their room to ‘sleep’.

Malory sashayed into her room. Lana followed. There was one bed in there.

Malory glared at Lana. “If you think we’re sharing a bed, then you’re mistaken.”

“Okay. Fine. I’ll just sleep on the ground,” Lana said. She walked toward the space she’d choose.

“Not there!” Malory yelled.

“Why not?” Lana questioned.

“That’s where my stuff is!” Malory shouted. “Matter of fact, maybe you should just leave the room to me.”

“Fine! Maybe I will!” Lana stormed out of the room. She approached Cheryl and Pam’s room. She stepped in. “Hey guys,” she whispered.

Cheryl said, “hey.”

“Can I sleep in here?” Lana asked.

Cheryl said, “sure.”

Lana laid down on the ground. She tried to sleep but it was hard to.

After all, Pam kept farting and Cheryl would cackle wildly at it.

Finally, Lana couldn’t take it anymore. She got up and left the room.

Just in time too.

Lana made a mad dash for the bathroom. She puked in the toilet.

“Did I cook the pizza wrong?” a familiar voice called from the door way.

“No. You didn’t, Katya,” Lana said, her head still hanging over the toilet bowl. She wished that her hair had been in a pony-tail; but it wasn’t. 

Katya walked over and held Lana’s hair back. “Are you okay? Is it the Flu?”

Lana slightly shook her head. Then she puked again. “No.”

Katya slightly cocked her head to the side. “Then what?”

Lana puked again.

Katya rubbed Lana’s back. “It’s okay—let it all out.”

Lana puked once again. “I think I’m good.” She slowly rose.

Katya let go of Lana’s hair.

They flushed the toilet. They both sat down together on the bathroom floor.

“Are you okay now?” Katya asked Lana, concern edging her voice.

Lana nodded. “I think so.”

“If it’s not the Flu then what? Some new kind of illness?” Katya questioned.

“I’m kind of uh….” The words hardly could leave Lana’s mouth.

Katya smiled. “It’s okay. You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to. It can stay your secret.” Katya went to rise but Lana grabbed her arm.

Lana blurted out, “Katya, I’m pregnant.”

Katya blinked a couple of times. “What…?”

“It’s Archer’s. We were in a relationship together but then we broke up,” Lana said.

Katya sat back down besides Lana. “How far along are you?”

“Two weeks,” Lana said.

“So, that was morning sickness then?” Katya questioned.

Lana nodded. “Yeah.” 

Katya pointed to the positive test in the trash. “That’s yours, isn’t it?”

“Yeah.” Then a single tear slipped down Lana’s face. “I don’t know what to do! I’m all alone! I have no one….” Lana cried. She buried her face in Katya’s chest.

Katya stroked Lana’s hair. “It’s okay. It’s okay. Everything will be okay.”

“But I have no one,” Lana sobbed.

“You have me,” Katya looked Lana in the eyes.

“But I was such a bitch to you before,” Lana sobbed.

“Times change. Are you going to be okay?” 

Lana nodded. She wiped her tears away with her shirt sleeve. “But, Malory won’t let me sleep in her room. And Cheryl and Pam are nice but they’re unbearable. You can’t get sleep when they’re around.”

Katya pulled Lana up. “Come with me.”

“Huh…?” Lana began.

“Just follow me,” Katya told her. Katya led Lana into her room.

“Katya, I can’t. I just can’t,” Lana began.

Katya said, “You can and you will. Besides it’s not just you now.”

Lana said, “Yeah. You’re right.” She slipped into the covers. “Is it always this cold?”

Katya nodded, “Yeah.”

Lana asked, “Can you turn up the heat in here?”

Katya told her, “There’s no thermostat but I could um...”

Lana asked her with raised eyebrows, “you could what?”

“...I could cuddle you,” Katya suggested.

Lana smiled. “I’d like that a lot.”

Katya slipped into the covers right by Lana.

Lana snuggled up against Katya. 

Katya whispered, “Good night, Lana.”

Lana whispered back, “Good night, Katya.”

And with that, the two girls slipped off into sleep.


	4. The Kiss

Lana woke up in Katya’s bed. The memories of last night seeped into her mind.

She sat up. A thought came to her mind,  _ did I seriously tell Katya that I was pregnant? _

__ Lana sighed. She went to where all of her clothes were. Her clothes were all ripped up. She didn’t know why but she knew this had Malory’s name written all over it—mainly because scotch was spilled on it.

“What the hell, Malory!” Lana called out.

Katya walked into the spare bedroom where Lana was. 

Lana looked at her.

“You seemed stressed,” Katya said.

“Well, Malory destroyed my clothes,” Lana sighed.  _ This is just my perfect year…. _

__ Katya led Lana to her room.

Katya began to look through her clothes. Finally, she pulled out a gray sweater and blue jeans. “Here.” 

Lana took the clothes.

“You can change in here. The other things are in the dresser,” Katya informed Lana.

“You seriously trust me with your clothes?” Lana asked.

Katya nodded. “Why shouldn’t I?”

Lana sighed. “Never-mind.” She then looked at Katya right in the eyes. 

Katya’s red glowing eyes just stared back at her.

Lana mentally shivered. “Can you do something for me?”

Katya asked, “What would that be?”

“Can you keep this quiet? I mean keep my pregnancy secret—a secret between the two of us,” Lana requested.

Katya smiled. “Yeah. I can do that.” Then Katya left the room to leave Lana to change.

-

Once Lana was done changing, she entered the dining room.

Cheryl was busy eating rubber cement.

Pam was trying to see how many frozen waffles she could eat in a minute.

Malory was drinking all of the vodka that she could.

Katya was sitting silently at the table. She smiled when Lana approached. “What can I get you?”

“Nothing, I’m not hungry. Thanks for the offer though.” Lana smiled back to Katya.

“Then maybe some vodka could do,” Malory suggested, pouring Lana a glass. She passed it to her. 

“Oh no thanks!” Lana said.

Malory said, “Come on try it! You seem on edge! This will come your nerves.”

Katya said, “She said no, Malory.”

Malory muttered, “Russian whore.”

“What was that?” Katya asked in a stern tone. “Just remember, I am your boss and I can fire you.”

Malory said, “Please don’t.”

“Then stop inching the vodka toward Lana,” Katya commanded Malory.

Malory pulled the cup away. “Fine. I guess that means more for me.”

Lana mouthed “thank you.”

Katya mouthed back, “You’re welcome.”

-

While everyone had ran ahead, Katya hung back with Lana.

“Are you going to be okay to do field missions?” Katya asked her.

Lana looked at the Russian girl. “I’m less than a month—you don’t have to worry about me. Don’t be so overprotective. People will we’re a thing.”

Katya asked, “What’s so wrong with that.”

“Nothing...” Lana said.

Katya looked away, slightly embarrassed.

They headed inside.

Katya picked up a file. “Sterling. Ray.” Then she turned to Lana. “Lana. You three will be on a mission to stop O.D.I.N. from destroying the Mother Land Calls in Volgograd.” She paused. Katya stared at Lana for a second.

Archer laughed and said, “Earth to Katya?”

Katya blinked a couple of times, “Actually, Boris…?”

Boris turned to Katya. “Yes Miss Kazanova?”

“Can you run the KGB for me at the time being? I’d like to see what being a field agent is like.”

Boris smiled. “Yes! Thank you Miss Kazanova!”

“No thank you, Boris,” Katya responded. She turned to Lana, Ray, and Archer. “Let’s suit up.”

-

Once they reached Volgograd, they went to the most likely place to find the ODIN agents—in a bar near the tower.

Archer and Ray were busy scouting the area.

Katya was god knows where.

Lana sat at the bar.

The bar tender asked, “What can I get you?”

“Just a water,” Lana told him.

He passed her a cup of water.

“Do my eyes deceive me or is that the one and only Lana Kane?”

Lana turned. “Oh hello Barry.”

Barry approached her. “Mind if I have a seat?”

“Not at all,” Lana smiled at him.

“Good.” He sat by her. He looked at the bar tender. “Some vodka for me,” Barry commanded. He got his glass. He quickly switched the glass with Lana’s glass.

Lana didn’t notice. She drank it down. “So, Barry what have you been up to?”

“Nothing much. I’m back at ODIN. But I’m stuck with this dumb mission that I don’t give a shit about,” Barry told her.

“Oh.” Lana spoke to the bar tender. “More of this please.”

Barry leaned in close to the bar tender. He whispered. “Give her about four more cups of vodka.”

The bar tender complied.

-

Lana now was extremely drunk. 

Barry smirked. Now, she was defenseless. “You would like to catch up more, wouldn’t you?”

Lana nodded. She slurred her words. “Yeah.”

“Then follow me.” He lead Lana toward the closet.

“This is a closet” Lana commented, slurring.

“Does it matter where we go to catch up?” Barry asked.

“I guess not,” Lana shrugged.

Barry lead her inside. He immediately tried to remove Lana’s clothes.

Lana fought back. She punched him in the nose.

Barry commented, “Wow. I didn’t remember you being quite so feisty. But that’s no problem for me.”

Just then the door opened. Katya was standing there, looking pissed as hell. She pulled Barry out of there. “What the hell do you think you’re doing?”

“Oh hello Katya,” Barry grinned. “I was just having a good time with Lana.”

“No. You weren’t. You were going to rape her,” Katya stated.

“No. I wasn’t,” Barry began. “And why do you care so much?” He stalked back toward Lana. 

But Katya pushed up back. “I’ll tell you why I care so much. She’s one of my field agents.”

“Lana’s part of the KGB?” Barry laughed. “I don’t buy it.”

“Fine.” Katya stalked toward Lana who just stumbled out of the closet. Katya kissed Lana right on the lips.

Barry huffed, “This isn’t over.” He shuffled away.

Katya pulled away. She smelled Lana’s breath. “Are you drunk?”

Lana slapped Katya across the face. “What the hell was that for?”

“Huh…?” Katya rubbed her face.

“The kiss. What was that for?” Lana asked, furious.

“Barry was going to do something horrible to you if I didn’t,” Katya told Lana.

Lana said, “That wasn’t right.”

“Why?” Katya asked.

Lana slapped Katya again. “Because I don’t have a problem with kissing girls. But you’re not my type. And you’ll never be, Russian whore. You’ll never be anything else but scum.” Lana laughed.

Katya frowned. One lone tear fell down her face. She walked toward the door.

Ray and Archer walked in. 

Ray said, “We ambushed ODIN!”

Archer stopped Katya. He looked at Katya. “What-”

Katya barged away. And out of the bar.

“Katya!” Archer called after her.

But it was no use. She was too far gone.


	5. Piss Off Barry

Lana woke up on a couch with a splitting headache. She realized that she wasn’t in Katya’s house.

But who’s could it be?, Lana asked herself.

Barry smiled as he stepped into view. “I saw what happened.”

“Huh?” Lana rubbed her head.

“It looked like you had a fight with your girlfriend, Katya,” Barry said. “You slapped her like twice. Then you proceeded to rip her heart into millions of pieces.”

Lana’s heart sank. “I did that?” Lana’s voice faltered.

Barry nodded. “Yeah. You did. Katya ran out of the bar crying. Archer and Ray tried to go after her. And you fainted. And I thought to myself, hey Barry, the best idea for you to do is to help Lana.” He chuckled faintly to himself. “But after all, it’s best for us to have sex.”

Lana blinked a couple of times. “Uh...how about no.”

Barry flinched slightly. “Uh what? No one turns me down.”

“Well I just did.” Lana stood up.

Barry said, “Well too bad. I guess I have to do this against you will. Consent just went out the window.” Barry stalked toward her. He grabbed her. His arm was wrapped against her neck. Barry pulled out a syringe. He injected it into Lana’s neck.

Lana became some what limp.

Barry laughed. “Ah yes. Now you’re going to be easier to move.” He drug her toward the back room.

But just then there was a sound of glass shattering.

“What the hell?” Barry said. He set Lana down against the wall. Barry went off to investigate.

Lana could feel that she was regaining her movement ability. She pulled herself up. She stalked after Barry.

There was Katya. She had been the one who shattered the glass.

By Lana’s guess Katya had probably jumped through the window from another building—after all, Barry lived on the fourth floor of an abandoned building.

“Ugh. What do you want?” Barry asked approaching the Russian.

Katya cracked her knuckles. She punched Barry right in the face.

“Ow!” Barry gasped.

While Barry was dazed, Katya kicked Barry in the nuts.

Barry fell backward.

Lana stumbled toward Katya.

Katya kept ahold of her. “Are you okay?”

“I think Barry drugged me,” Lana said.

“Do you think the baby is okay?” Katya asked. She immediately regretted it.

Barry called out, “The baby? Lana, you’re pregnant? Wow…. But the question is, is it Archer’s or mine?”

Katya looked confused as she looked at Lana. “What?”

“Long story,” Lana said.

Barry approached them, menacingly. “I’d say 5% chance that it’s Archer’s. 90% it’s mine.” He laughed. “Katya, back away! My future wife is caring precious cargo. I’d hate if you hurt our child—after all, you’re an abomination.”

“You’re a cyborg too!” Katya shouted back.

Barry laughed. “I’m more advanced then you though.” Barry began to say things that made Lana shiver. He kept walking toward them.

Katya pulled a grenade out and threw it. She grabbed ahold of Lana and they jumped out the window.

Barry’s apartment blew up behind them. 

Lana screamed, “We’re going to die.”

“Not on my watch,” Katya said. She used one hand to use a grappling hook. 

It made their landing soft.

They met the ground, peacefully.

Lana looked at Katya. “Thank you for saving me. And I’m sorry for what I said to you.”

Katya responded with, “Thank me later. My first priority is to back to my place safely.”

Then, the two girls walked to Katya’s flat. 


End file.
